HELGA, SHE-WOLF OF STILBERG. (1978) DIRECTED BY PATRICE RHOMM. WRITTEN BY H.L. ROSTAINE. STARRING MALISA LONGO, PATRIZIA GORI, RICHARD ALLAN, DOMENIQUE AVELINE AND JACQUES MARBEUF.
REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS.
This film has got to have been written by a bloke. And how do I know this, dearest readers? Well, because this entire film just plays out like a guy's dearest and long-held fantasy of what the inside of a womens' prison would be like if it were run by a sexually voracious, bisexual, beautiful and sexually dominant female. Get the picture? You do? Well, just wait till you see the film. You'll love it, abso-bloody-lutely love it. I certainly did, anyway.
This sexually rapacious and insatiable bitch-goddess is the titular Helga, a tall, ravishing blonde with great tits, and Stilberg is the mountain fortress/detention centre of which she's given full command, in the middle of a revolution in an out-of-the-way South American principality in the 'Seventies.
Though we've no way of knowing what her qualifications are for being given this command, I wouldn't worry too much about it, folks. She seems to have all it takes to torment, torture, tease, titillate and tantalise the dozen or so female political prisoners under her control in the magnificent though isolated old castle of Stilberg.
Can she stride about in knee-boots wielding a riding whip? Yes, she can. Check, in fact. Does she look positively splendiferous in a red satin blouse and skin-tight black leather trousers on the back of a fine piece of horseflesh while she rides him hard? Check again.
Do her pert, pointy nipples show clearly through the chiffony material of her see-through nightie? Do they ever, haha. Finally, is she amenable to sex with both men and women at the drop of a hat, or maybe the drop of a nylon gusset might be more appropriate? Check, check and check again.
Helga is all these things and more. She's every man's dream dominatrix, I would say, with the added bonus of being bisexual. Possibly she even prefers the softness of female breasts against her trembling naked body to the thrusting of a virile and upstanding penis. If I know men, and I think I do somewhat, I would say that that makes her every guy's (wet) dream-girl.
Plus she's a spoiled and capricious walking bitch, who always has to have her own way and who pouts and screams and threatens blue bloody murder if she doesn't get it. The head of state who gave her the command of Stilberg made a good choice in Helga. So what if she has no military experience or training whatsoever? If her tits look good in shimmery satin, that'll do nicely, thank you very much.
If you're turned-on by Helga, and I'm sensing that some of you are, you naughty boys and girls, just wait till I tell you about the prisoners! The handful of women locked up in the mountain fortress of Stilberg are all good-looking young women with typical 'Seventies hairstyles.
They wear plain, button-down dresses with not a scrap of underwear beneath them. That's right, they're starkers under there, all the easier for the horny male guards to access their unclothed lady-parts, I'm guessing. They also wear high-heeled knee-boots like Helga's. For doing hard labour in?
The hairy, heavily-moustached dark-haired guards enjoy a grand life up at Stilberg, watching the prisoners slaving away at their hard labour during the day and boozing, smoking and feeling up the women the rest of the time. Oh, 'tis a grand old time they're having and no mistake...!
A local farmer, who's confusingly called Doc but who seems to have no medical training whatsoever, is allowed to rape the girls at will in exchange for keeping the guards supplied with bottles of good wine from his cellar. The girls may also be summoned to Helga's elegant bed-chamber when she's in the mood for the delicate taste of pussy rather than the more pro-active thrust of dick.
Hey, I'm not being coarse, I'm just telling it like it is in this super-horny, sexploitation French-language film of the genre best described as Euro-sleaze. Failure to comply with Helga's sexual wishes can lead to a severe naked whipping down in the dungeons while the guards look on lasciviously. It's a hard life being a female political prisoner up at Stilberg...
I must just tell you about two cracking scenes before I sign off. Straight from the brain of a man comes the scene in which the prisoners relax before bed. They sit on their beds, chatting and laughing with each other, stark naked but still wearing their knee-boots...!
No woman wrote that, I'll stake my Jimmy Choos on it. No night-clothes are provided, seemingly, and some of the women actually sleep in their high-heeled boots or shoes...! No woman wrote that either, I can tell you that for nothing.
Equally priceless is the scene of pure unadulterated medical porn in which a tough old female guard gives the naked prisoners the most cursory of medical examinations in full view of the male guards. After feeling up their naked bosoms and getting 'em to spread their legs nice and wide for the camera, she pronounces 'em fit for the toughest of work, just like that. I guess it's good to be given a clean bill of health...
Oh, I forgot to mention the wee bit of plot the film contains. Something about the daughter of a local revolutionary finding herself in Helga's clutches, while the rather small-scale revolution 'rages' somewhat lamely around them in the background. Don't worry about it. Nothing gets in the way of the naked whipping...!
This superb and super-horny example of 'Seventies sexploitative 'Euro-sleaze is on release at the moment thanks to a brilliant new cult label called MAISON ROUGE. Here's what's happening:
SCREENBOUND is launching two brilliant new Euro cult film labels: MAISON ROUGE and BLACK HOUSE FILMS. Don't they sound sexy as hell? MAISON ROUGE will specialise in Euro sleaze, of which FEMALE VAMPIRE: BARE-BREASTED COUNTESS will be their first release, followed by HELGA, SHE-WOLF OF STILLBERG, Good choices, guys.
Other classics on the way from the label will include ELSA FRAULEIN SS, ZOMBIE LAKE and CRIMSON, all for the strictly over-eighteens only and no exceptions. These three I mentioned here are mostly about sexy Nazis, some of whom are undead so, if that's your thing, you've come to the right place. Gott in Himmel, have you ever come to the right place...
BLACK HOUSE FILMS will deal mainly with Euro horror, and I'll certainly bombard ye with more details when I have 'em myself. Either way, the two labels intend to exploit the best of 'Sixties-to-'Eighties Euro Exploitation over the next few years, so prepare to be dazzled by Euro-filth and deliciously Gothic horror, in other words...!
In the meantime, please permit the luscious Helga to tickle your fancy. She'll do it too. You know she can. Whether you're male, female or anything in between, it don't make no never-mind to Helga. Just relax, why dont you, and give yourself up to the stinging kiss of her whip on your naked flesh...
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO
You can contact Sandra at:
http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com
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