FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS: CURTAIN. (2015) DIRECTED BY JARON HENRIE-MCCREA. STARRING DANNI SMITH, TIM LUEKE, MARTIN MONAHAN, RICK ZAHN AND PRESTON LAWRENCE. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
Bathrooms are where we're at our most
vulnerable really, when you think about it. We're either all wet and
nekkid in the tub or shower, half blind without our glasses or
contacts and deafened from the sound of the running water, or we're
sat on the bog with our most delicate parts vulnerable to attack from
anything that has half a mind to climb unseen up our toilet.
Snakes, alligators, giant spiders, a
zombie hand, you name it, when we're on the throne we can't prevent
it from reaching up and grabbing willy-nilly at our naughty bits. I still peep
down the loo to check for beasties before I sit down for a wee. I bet
I'm not the only one who does that, either.
Alfred Hitchcock certainly capitalised
on this sense of vulnerability when he set the first and most
shocking murder in his horror masterpiece PSYCHO in
a motel bathroom. Who could forget Janet Leigh showering away all
unawares and the ominous shadow looming ever closer behind the shower
curtain?
The
events that followed made their way easily into cinematic history. In
the starkness of that anonymous motel bathroom, there's nothing to
distract the eye from the horror of the attack. That's how you do
it. Alfred Hitchcock knew that perfectly well, which is why he's
the legendary movie director and
we're... well, we're
the people who watch his
legendary movies. Good to know where we all stand...!
I'm not
suggesting for a moment that CURTAIN, which
also centres around a bathroom, is
somehow comparable to Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO. There
haven't been many horror films made since 1960 that are fit to lick PSYCHO's
metaphorical boots, haha. CURTAIN is
an entertaining horror comedy nonetheless, which would be perfect for
an evening when you just want to kick back and watch something nice
and gory and undemanding.
The
plot is as follows. The titular curtain refers
to the shower curtains that a nice ordinary young woman called Danni keeps hanging
in her bathroom. The reason she has to keep hanging new curtains is
because, every time she hangs one, it's disappeared within a short
period of time. Say whaaaaat?
That's right. Her shower curtains keep disappearing...
Is
there a shower curtain thief in the building she's just moved into?
It doesn't seem likely, especially in view of the fact that the
curtains are going missing while Danni's actually present
in the apartment with the doors
locked and bolted. And anyway, those cheap plastic curtains only cost
a buck or two in any discount store, so who the hell would want to go
to the trouble of swiping 'em? It doesn't make a lick of sense.
I'm not
going to tell you what's actually happening to the curtains
or where they're ending up, but
I will tell you that
Danni enlists the help of her friend and fellow chugger, Tim, to aid
her in solving this little mystery. Danni's been working as a chugger
since leaving her job as a nurse for reasons we're never too clear
on.
It also seems
like nursing is what she really wants to do so God only knows why
she's tramping the streets of her hometown asking irritable strangers
if they know what's happening to the whales of today. Some of 'em
care. Most of 'em don't give a fiddler's f**k, if you'll excuse my
French.
A
chugger, for those of you who mightn't know, is what we in Ireland
call those people who stop you in the street and ask you if you've
got a minute for CONCERN, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL, GOAL,
TROCAIRE, GORTA, HELP THE HOMELESS, SAVE THE RAINFOREST
or any other worthy and deserving charity you care to name.
Yep,
you stand there at five in the evening with your frozen dinners
melting in your shopping bag and your offspring kicking you in the
leg while the chuggers brandish a clipboard at you and try to part
you from your hard-earned dosh by guilting the shite out of you.
'Chugger' is a rather
uncharitable mix of the words charity and
mugger. Some folk seem to think it's pretty apt...
Tim is a great character. He's intensely passionate about saving the
whales and he'll spare you no grim gory details of whale abuse when
he stops you in the street. He'll even show you graphic drawings if
he needs to. Anything to raise that awareness, haha.
Tim's
more than a little sweet on Danni too, though he's much too shy to
say so. He's more than happy to help Danni with The Mystery
Of The Disappearing Shower Curtain (sounds
like an old Enid Blyton novel!) and
he's quite proactive, too, when it comes to following up the few
meagre leads they've got.
Naturally,
they meet a few weirdos along the way. Some kind of bizarre cult called
THE GATE or
THE GATEWAY seems to think that
Danni's humble shower curtains are some of their business, so you
just know that there's gonna be trouble brewing. Big, big
trouble.
Some shit
goes down, some blood gets spilled and the shocking ending will
either confuse you or blow you away. I'm still undecided as to which
camp I'm in, haha. Probably a little from Column A, a little from
Column B...!
Either way, this (probably) low-budget independent horror film is a
good entertaining watch and you can definitely spare the eighty
minutes out of your life to watch it. (Well, I don't
mean to be presumptuous about how busy your life is or isn't but come
on, eighty minutes, surely anyone can spare that...!)
CURTAIN is out on DVD this summer (July/August 2016) courtesy of FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS. Other great horror flicks due to be released by the same people include LAST GIRL STANDING, THE UNFOLDING, LANDMINE GOES CLICK and THE LESSON. You can get more details from www.frightfestpresents.com any time you've a mind to.
Just to add
that Danni's uncle and the janitor of Danni's apartment building are
great characters too and I would have liked to see their roles
developed a bit more. I suppose, though, that when you've only got
eighty or so minutes to play with, you've got to make a few cuts in a
few places.
CURTAIN is out on DVD this summer (July/August 2016) courtesy of FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS. Other great horror flicks due to be released by the same people include LAST GIRL STANDING, THE UNFOLDING, LANDMINE GOES CLICK and THE LESSON. You can get more details from www.frightfestpresents.com any time you've a mind to.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA
HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO
You can contact Sandra at:
http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com
No comments:
Post a Comment