14 November 2015

WATCHING 'FRIDAY THE 13TH- PART 2' ON FRIDAY THE 13TH AT DUBLIN'S LIGHTHOUSE CINEMA, COURTESY OF GRINDHOUSE DUBLIN! BY SANDRA HARRIS.


WATCHING ‘FRIDAY THE 13TH- PART 2’ ON FRIDAY THE 13TH AT THE LIGHTHOUSE CINEMA, COURTESY OF GRINDHOUSE DUBLIN!!! BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
FRIDAY THE 13TH- PART 2. 1981. BASED ON CHARACTERS CREATED BY VICTOR MILLER. DIRECTED BY STEVE MINER AND SEAN S. CUNNINGHAM. STARRING BETSY PALMER, ADRIENNE KING, WARRINGTON GILLETTE, AMY STEEL AND JOHN FUREY.
One of the best nights I had this year (2015) was on Friday the 13th of March, when I got to watch the very first FRIDAY THE 13TH movie at the Lighthouse Cinema in Smithfield, Dublin. The whole night was organised by the lovely people behind Grindhouse Dublin.
As well as watching the brilliant original film, the first in the franchise, we all got to see trailers for terrific old grindhouse movies like DON’T GO IN THE HOUSE, DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT, STAY THE F**K OUT OF MY SHED, DON’T OPEN THE DOOR, DON’T OPEN THE CURTAINS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T LOOK OUT THE WINDOW and so on and so forth. Incidentally, I may have made up one or two of these so don’t worry if you can’t find ’em online.
For me, the best part of the night, aside from the film, was winning a load of great stuff courtesy of the nice Grindhouse Dublin peeps. Guess what I won? How about my very own Mommy Voorhees action figure doll, complete with the jeans and sturdy boots and cable-knit sweater she wears in the film? Add to that a FRIDAY THE 13TH Blu-ray and graphic novel and the whole lot all adds up to one happy camper, namely me. You guys jealous much…? Haha, you bet you are.
Anyway, I was absolutely thrilled to be able to repeat the experience this November of watching a FRIDAY THE 13TH film on Friday the 13th, again in the Lighthouse Cinema and once more courtesy of the jolly decent folks at Grindhouse Dublin.
This time around, the film was FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, and though the cinema was only half-full maybe due to the recent bout of stormy weather, the buzz was great. I love horror fans so much. I love being able to sit in a theatre with other horror-minded adults and know that we’re all going to laugh, groan and shriek at the same bits. I really feel like I’m home when that happens.
The feature presentation was preceded by a humorously bad short film called INVADERSby a chap called Jason Kupfer and some great trailers for films like RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD, STRANGE DAYS and UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. Then… FRIDAY THE 13TH…!!!
It’s five years after the original movie and some utter madman has decided to openanother camp at Crystal Lake, just up the road from the site of all those horrible murders. I know, right…? Anyway, the camp counsellors have all arrived for their induction and training, blissfully unaware that Jason Voorhees is wandering around the woods looking for people to kill…
He’s all grown up now and thirsting for revenge after the death of his mother in the original film. Sartorially, you might say that his look leaves a lot to be desired. He’s sporting hick dungarees, a checked shirt and an Elephant Man-style hood-over-the-head with just one fetching eyelet, rather than the hockey mask and sharp togs he dons for some of the later films in the franchise. Still, without his Mumsie to advise him on being a Sharp Dressed Man, what’s a total weirdo/loner supposed to do…?
Incidentally, though this is the second film in the series, it’s only the first one in which we see Jason as an adult. He really comes into his own cutting a murderous swathe through the horny camp counsellors almost right from the get-go. And, boy, are they horny…!
The girls are whipping off bras and panties in the film as if there’s no tomorrow. The guys are constantly trying to get some. Female nipples feature prominently in the movie, as do pert butt-cheeks and come-hither glances. If Mrs. Voorhees had been alive for this film, she would’ve been hopping mad at the high levels of fornication and nudity amongst the young people. Hell, she might even have gone right out and cut herself a big ol’ switch for those bouncy butt-cheeks, she’d’ve been so gosh-darned mad at all the sexy shenani-goats…!
There are so many hilarious stand-out scenes in this absolutely cracking horror film that it’s hard to choose just a few to tell you about, but I’ll try. I love ‘Mommy’s Head As A Table Centrepiece.’ I love that Adrienne King, sole survivor of the original massacre at Camp Crystal Lake, reprises her role as The Girl Who Decapitated Mommy Voorhees. But not for long, snigger…!
The old guy who goes around telling people they’re all ‘doomed’ is a class act. The lead blonde donning Mommy Voorhees’s jumper- and persona- to try to control a rampaging Jason is brilliant, just brilliant. Check out Jason’s shack. It will never, repeat never, feature in HOMES AND GARDENS or ELEGANT LIVING, except maybe as an example of how not to purdy up your shack.
And to the chick with the frizzy hair and the nipples like pointy little party-hats who finds the original wooden sign for Camp Crystal Lake and chucks it away like yesterday’s newspaper, I will say only this: ‘Do you know what I would GIVE to have that precious, precious sign hanging somewhere in my house, you frizzy twat…???’ Excuse my vehemence. I would have just really liked to have that sign.
Oh, and Jason is an Equal Opportunities Serial Killer in this movie, by the way. He actually offs a guy in a wheelchair. A guy in a wheelchair…! And the poor guy was actually just about to get some. Ah, Jason, nooooooo…! I don’t mean to be non-PC, but this is one of the funniest deaths in the movie.
Anyway, I walked home after the film with a giant soppy grin on my face, I was so happy. Thanks to Grindhouse Dublin and the Lighthouse Cinema for another successful collabaration. I saw two women full-on snogging each other on the quays on my way home and a couple of drunks squaring up to each other at the Luas Stop in Smithfield, then they took a swig out of their respective beer bottles and forgot why they’d been scrapping. Ah well. It’s all part-and-parcel, isn’t it? All just a part of life’s rich tapestry.
My Mrs. Voorhees dolly is sitting beside me as I write this. She’s sad today. She’s always sad when Friday the 13th is over for another while. I might have to do something nice for her to cheer her up. Hang on. She’s talking to me now. What’s that you’re saying, Mommy? You want me to ‘be nice’ to Jason? But… But Mommy Voorhees, he’s so ugly…! I can’t, Mommy, I just can’t…! You know what, this is ridiculous, you’re just a doll. Back in your box you go till you learn to behave, goddammit.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based performance poet, novelist, film blogger, sex blogger and short story writer. She has given more than 200 performances of her comedy sex-and-relationship poems in different venues around Dublin, including The Irish Writers’ Centre, The International Bar, Toners’ Pub (Ireland’s Most Literary Pub), the Ha’penny Inn, Le Dernier Paradis at the Trinity Inn and The Strokestown Poetry Festival.
Her articles, short stories and poems have appeared in The Metro-Herald newspaper, Ireland’s Big Issues magazine, The Irish Daily Star, The Irish Daily Sun and The Boyne Berries literary journal. In August 2014, she won the ONE LOVELY BLOG award for her (lovely!) horror film review blog. She is addicted to buying books and has been known to bring home rain-washed tomes she finds on the street and give them a home.
She is the proud possessor of a pair of unfeasibly large bosoms. They have given her- and the people around her- infinite pleasure over the years. She adores the horror genre in all its forms and will swap you anything you like for Hammer Horror or JAWS memorabilia. She would also be a great person to chat to about the differences between the Director’s Cut and the Theatrical Cut of The Wicker Man. You can contact her at:
1) ‘… BY A WOMAN WALKING HER DOG…’
2) A WRITER’S JOURNEY
3) ANNA MEETS COUNT DRACULA
4) ANOTHER FIFTY REALLY RANDOM HORROR FILM REVIEWS TO DIE FOR…
5) CANCER BALLS
6) CATCH OF THE DAY
7) FIFTY FILTHY-DIRTY SEX-POEMS YOU MUST READ BEFORE I DIE.
8) FIFTY REALLY RANDOM HORROR FILM REVIEWS TO DIE FOR…
9) THE DEVIANTS
10) VISITING DAY


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